Chewbacca the space monkey

A long long time ago , in a galaxy far far away. There lived a wonderful creature His name was Chewbacca The Space Monkey. He lived a in small dirt hut on New Dirt City, where he would frolic and play all day. Chewbacca had many friends and all of them were happy because they had tons of weed. Chewbacca had three primary friends: He had one chinese friend named Gook Skywalker , He was a mighty swordsman, skilled in both the katana and the ways of the warrior. Secondly he had Kazooba The Hut an obese person who was a talented Kazoo player; In fact he was so talented that he could do anything from healing people's wounds with a calming melody to causing massive heart attacks from a terrifying tune. Finally we had jerry, jerry was much like al gore -primarily in the fact that nobody cared about him-. On this day Chewbacca and his friend Gook were in his hut looking through the pantry, when Chewbacca said “hey Gook I can’t find the cereal” Gook looked over at Chewbacca and said “Well, that’s probably because you’re retarded”. Chewbacca broke his gaze from the dark pantry doors to look back at Gook , With an ever so slightly smug tone “Well how-bout’ you take a look If you’re so smart” . Gook got up from the dirt couch he was sitting on, his being slightly astir, and sighed “I guess I’ll have to look ”. He slowly slumped over to the pantry and said “The reason you can’t find the food, Chewbacca, is because there isn’t anything in your pantry” Chewbacca retorted with a hyperbolic tone “Are you sure?” .Gook now slightly annoyed said “ Oh wait one second How could I miss this secret compartment!” Chewbacca’s eyes lit up with intrigue while Gook continued “oh my god there’s a whole feast here and a fountain of milk oh and- wait, yep, still nothing.” Chewbacca now saddened by Gook’s ruse said in a whiny tone “but I’m hungry, I haven’t eaten all day” Gook said “well the reason I came to your house in the first place was because I was out of food too.” he continued “So I guess we should try and ask the neighb-”. Gook was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door, Upon opening the door he was greeted by his friend Russ. Russ was a strange bear looking creature -probably an ewok- who was waaay to tiny -like at most 2 feet tall-, Nobody knows why Russ exists -or why he speaks english- although the most popular theories around town are that he is the illegitimate child of Chewbacca or that he’s just a really hairy kid. Russ spoke with a slightly desperate voice “Hey guys do you have any food?” Gook then said “sorry but we’re also out at the moment, try asking someone else” Russ responded “ I already tried half the town nobody has any” Chewbacca now in even more despair contemplated for a moment, then said “ well I guess we’ll have to eat you then”. Gook said “no, we’re not doing that Chewbacca” Chewbacca replied “you’re right he has no meat on him.” he then strained his head for a minute and said “I’m gonna try and eat Kazooba the Hut instead, that fat loser would probably last me for days” so Chewbacca left his house to find Kazooba the Hut and Gook followed after to make sure Chewbacca didn’t do anything rash. When Gook and Chewbacca came to where Kazooba lived the first thing they saw was a great dirt tower, Its opulence, scale, and grace without comparison; Green grasses and bushes were growing on the unending walls of the tower, these were accentuated by the colorful myriad of flowers and foliage growing with the grasses -It was possibly the gayest tower ever to grace New Dirt City-. Chewbacca turned to Gook and said “ you think Kazooba did some remodeling?” Gook said “Do you think a jobless shut-in would be able to afford all this?” Chewbacca replied “Fair point , but we should check anyway”. They walked up to the tower to see two skeleton guards, they looked like they were all skin and bones -minus the skin- Gook went up to them and said “Is this the Residence of Kazooba the hut?” the Guard then replied “No, you must be mistaken” Chewbacca then blurted out “Then who in hell lives here” The Guard then replied “well if you must know... This Is the residence of Grandmaster King Kazooba Has-a-seven-to-one-kill-to-death-ratio-at-call-of-duty Coolguy the Awesome”.Chewbacca turned to Gook and said “That fag probably changed his name” before Gook could reply The guard interrupted “ If you have no business here then leave” Chewbacca retorted “Actually we do have business here, I’ve come to eat your king and Gook has come to watch”. Both guards pulled out their swords and one said “If you are here to harm the king then you must perish.” In response Gook pulled out his katana and Chewbacca got to a safe distance. A Guard came from Gook’s left and made vertical slash with his sword, Gook shifted his katana up to perry then kicked the guard’s shins to trip him. After that Gook stomped on the guard’s skull killing him instantaneously. Chewbacca saw the other guard coming to gook from behind so he picked up a rock and hurled it at the guard, Knocking off one of his legs. Gook then took off his skull and chucked it as far as he could. They then walked towards the dirt tower ,only to be stopped by a gate made of pure dirtanium the hardest soil known to man. Chewbacca looked at the gate and said “do you think you could break it?” Gook said “no, It would take a tremendous amount of power to break that gate”. Gook eyes then went to the keyhole and he said “I know not how to pick locks but I am intrigued by the sudden appearance of this tower, so I shall try” Chewbacca took a seat down by the gate and said “go for it”. So Gook stuck his katana into the keyhole and started fiddling around with it. As Gook tried to pick the lock the sun slowly drifted across the sky, Chewbacca occasionally picked at the grass down by where he was and shifted position every once awhile. The time seemed to escape from them and eventually the sun was just about to set, Gook looking defeated said “I guess we’ll have to call it a day”. Just as they were about to leave they heard someone say “Hey Chewbacca is that you what’s up I’d recognise your furry face anywhere. they don’t call you The space monkey just because you came from a meteorite”. Chewbacca and Gook looked towards the direction of the voice saw their dear friend jimmy. Gook took his sword from the keyhole and said “How did you get to the other side of the gate?” jimmy responded “oh i was hanging out at Kazooba’s house, but he kicked me out after i refused to call him ‘Grandmaster King Kazooba Has-a-seven-to-one-kill-to-death-ratio-at-call-of-duty Coolguy the Awesome’” jimmy continued “yea i was gonna get escorted by guards but they didn’t come so i started-” Chewbacca interrupted “can you let us in I’m starving out here” jimmy then replied “sure dude Kazooba gave me this key it looks really cool, let me tell you that guy is up to some stuff. It’s -” Gook interjected “you better not let chewbacca in, he plans to eat Kazooba”. jimmy said “there’s no need to do that Chewbacca.” he continued “He keeps a bunch of food in the tower” jimmy still refused to shut up “yea he kept bragging how he got so good at playing kazoo that he could revive the dead. i called bullshit so he resurrected a bunch of dead people and built a tower. If there’s one thing he’s good at it’s playing that noise maker , that’s for -” Gook stopped him and asked “do you think the fact that the town is out of food and that he has a ton of food in the tower is interrelated” jimmy replied “Yea i remember him asking a dude to take all the food from the city. It’s crazy what he can do overnight I mean wew that guy-” Gook interrupted “If he stole the food then we have to get it back and put him in his place”. jimmy replied “you know Gook you’ve always had a strong moral compass and i’m quite bored so if you want i could come with also i don’t really-” Chewbacca said “yea you can come just shut up already” Gook added “it is a little much”. jimmy then responded “ok i do kind like to talk, you could say i have the gift of-” jimmy was interrupted by Chewbacca pouncing on him and holding his mouth shut. After Chewbacca let go of jimmy, jimmy transitioned to carrying an internal monologue in his head and they eventually made it to the tower Right before opening the tower doors jimmy chimed in and said “this first floor is Really Really weird just a heads up, There is-” Chewbacca cut him off by saying “ok we get it”. Gook reached for the handle and opened the door his face slowly filled with surprise as he took in all that was to be seen. The room was amazing in its own rite the floors were made of cement on the floor walked men and women of every size and stature. Wearing a plethora of different clothes some were normally clothed while others were wearing leather clothes with zippers in odd places, Some weren’t even wearing clothes at all. On the cold cement floor laid various instruments of torture and hanging from the ceiling there were massage sticks of various sizes and shapes. To top it off there was a pool of lubricant in the center of the room. Gook walked in to see a man with a noose around his neck teetering on a tire with his big toe. He had dark black hair and red lips, His left arm was more muscular than his right to an absurd amount. Gook cut the rope making the man fall on the floor. When he got up he said “Not cool man I was busy ” his eyes then became transfixed at jimmy and he said “hey dude I thought Kazooba wanted you to leave”. jimmy replied “yeah he did but i ran into some friends and now we’re here to put Kazooba back in his place and probably dismantle this tower, except Chewbacca, he’s just here to eat, and I’m bor-” the man replied “Look, I have orders from Kazooba not to let anybody past this floor” he continued “he gave me this power to create people, they’re pretty useless fighters though” he thought for a minute and his eyes lit up as an Idea came into his head. he continued “I should use this power to create perfect partners for you three. Then you will be too occupied with them to leave this tower”. First he looked at Gook then he said “Create a perfect partner for this man” and out of thin air came a sweet maiden; Her appearance was modest and she was dressed in a beautiful kimono. Her eyes drifted towards Gook and she gave a sheepish smile. Gook lost sight of all around him and focused directly to her. The man then looked at jimmy and he said “create a perfect partner for my good friend jimmy”. Just like the first, a girl came out of thin air. her face was approachable and easy to talk to, She was also an excellent listener. She turned to jimmy and said “Jimmy please tell me about your day” jimmy was unable to resist and started rambling to her. Finally the man looked towards Chewbacca and said “you look very peculiar, Be you man or beast?” Chewbacca responded “I be space monkey, my name is Chewbacca though ” the man then said “Create a perfect partner for Chewbacca” and just like that an exact clone of Chewbacca was made. Both of the Chewbaccas then said at the same time “If I wanted to see the sexiest being imaginable, I would look in a mirror” The man being flustered tried again “Create a perfect partner for Chewbacca”. Now two clones of Chewbacca came from thin air making a total of four Chewbaccas, the four Chewbaccas then all said “well this makes things easier”. They all pounced at the man from different sides; The man swung at a Chewbacca with his left arm, the Chewbacca instantly turned into a pile of blood and viscera that decorated the wall. The three other Chewbaccas tore the man apart with unspeakable brutality only hesitating upon hearing the man say “Oh baby hit me harder”. After the man had died all the people he created faded into thin air (including the duplicate Chewbaccas), so did the various toys and devices -the pool of lube was still there though, it will never ever leave-. Gook and jimmy were saddened by the loss of their lovers but were pressed to continue onto the next room. So they went up the stairs to the second floor. While they were walking jimmy mumbled “so I guess russ really is just a hairy kid”. When they got into the second floor they were happy to see how normal it looked, however the floor was covered by the refuse from broken plates and chairs. Inside the room there was a manlet, no more than five feet tall; he was sitting on a trash bag full of wood chippings when he said “What Are You Guys Doing Here!?” Gook replied “we are simply trying to get to the top of the tower, we mean you no harm, Mr...” Gook paused fishing for an answer and the manlet responded “NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS” Chewbacca then said “hi Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS my name is Chewbacca” upon hearing Chewbacca, Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS’s face got slightly more red and ever more crinkly. jimmy looked over at Chewbacca and said in a hush tone “this guy gets really angry, you have no idea. Dude if you think you know-” Chewbacca cut off jimmy and said very audibly “who cares if this manlet gets angry I could kick his ass he’s way too tiny” Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS’s face now was so crinkly it looked like a shriveled up nutsack and he was a very bright red. Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS then looked at jimmy , he knew he looked familiar. But he wondered from where, it suddenly came to his mind and he said “You’re Not Supposed To Be Here!”. Chewbacca taking pleasure from his anger said “do you honestly think jimmy cares about what you have to say?” Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS slowly started to grow, his size oscillating; he finally reached a breaking point and let out a visceral scream most definitely damaging his throat in the process. After that the room got a little warmer and Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS burst into flames. He proceeded to say “HMLEGARBLFRAGLIN!!!” and quickly swung at Chewbacca almost engulfing him in fire. Chewbacca now was running around screaming, in a flaming room while being chased by an eight foot tall propane monster. Meanwhile Gook was hopelessly picking up the pieces of broken plates and throwing them in an attempt to slow this portable bonfire down. jimmy had noticed that the room was smelling more and more like Kentucky Fried Chicken and decided he had to do something. He yelled at Chewbacca “Run down stairs and try to get him in the pool of lube” Chewbacca without hesitation ran down the stairs and jumped into the lube pit Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS came with and the second he touched the lube his flames were extinguished.Chewbacca jumped out of the pit because Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS bit his leg; meanwhile jimmy took a moment to thank god that the lube wasn’t silicone based. Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS came after Chewbacca now in his manlet form until he eventually slipped and hit his head too hard. Chewbacca, Gook and jimmy looked at lube covered dead body of Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS and then Chewbacca said “I will now recite his eulogy” he continued “Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS... born a manlet and died a manlet” Gook turned over and slapped Chewbacca in the back of the head. jimmy then said in a worried tone “ok so right now the room above us is on fire and Just a recommendation but we should probably find a way to put it out. I mean if we don’t, then you know, we might not be able to go any further then the second floor and remember what we learned-” Chewbacca said “a bunch of lube is stored in my fur I could shake it off in there” Gook said “might as well give it a shot”. so Chewbacca went upstairs and extinguished the flames doggy style, they were now ready to enter the third floor of the tower. As Chewbacca, Gook and jimmy entered the third floor they noticed that there was a pot in the center of the room and also ... nothing (there wasn’t even a stairwell to climb). Gook opened the pot to see a dark blue smoke with a greyish tint. jimmy said “this guy needs a little bit encouragement don’t know why he’s so-” the smoke boomed “do not disturb the great being Otmar while He slumbers” Gook then replied “sorry but we must go to the next floor are You able to help us with that?” Otmar responded “your request has been submitted for board approval” and then it was silent.jimmy finally piped up and said “hey Otmar you there buddy? It’s been a -” “Request accepted” said Otmar. It again was silent, until Gook said “so You gonna do it?” Otmar then said “yea just let Me take a quick nap for the next seventeen quadrillion years and I might get around to it after that” and then it was silent. Chewbacca then said “Dude don’t be a dick, that’s way too long” Otmar said nothing. Chewbacca being flustered started to shake the pot back and forth, eventually the pot tipped over and then... It was loud. An emptiness flowed out of the pot quickly engulfing the room it. Next came souls from the pot to fill the emptiness with their terrible screams. Gook, Chewbacca and jimmy were hopelessly scrambling around the dark plane of infinite vastness. jimmy’s mouth disappeared from his body so that he never could speak. Gook was swinging at spirits occasionally destroying some. Suddenly two of spirits came and ripped his hands from his body so that he never swing a sword again. Chewbacca was busy calling the spirits pussys when they went into his belly and took his stomach so he may never eat. Through all this chaos there was a great voice it boomed through all the screams, so loud and of the utmost clarity; It said “please do not disturb the great being Otmar while He slumbers” immediately afterwards an awful ear piercing shriek then came and filled the void “suffer as long as You can here, Die then burn in the most heinous pits of hell” a last voice of clarity and logic boomed ever so beautifully “your request has been submitted for board approval” It continued, giving every being in that room clarity of mind “request denied”. Otmar then said “I cannot sleep, I wish things to be back to the way they once were and that this never happen again” and it was so. As Chewbacca, Gook and jimmy entered the third floor they noticed that there was a pot in the center of the room, there was also a stairwell to climb. jimmy said “it’s a good idea to get out of this place as soon as possible, just whatever you do don’t touch that pot under any circ-” Chewbacca interrupted “yea this place gives me the heebie jeebies let's go” and so they went onto to the fourth floor. As the door opened they saw an Imp he was tiny and had a big nose he said “would you like some refreshments?”. Chewbacca and Gook took the food with pleasure after they were done eating, the Imp said “that will be five dollars” Chewbacca said “my friend Gook will pay for it” . The imp then looked over to Gook and said “do you have the money?” Gook looked through his pockets and scrounged up four dollars and ninety nine cents he then said “this should cover it” the imp smiled and said “where is the extra cent” Gook then replied “that’s all I have”. The imp then said “I’d be willing to give you a loan if you’d be willing to pay a little interest” Gook thought, then said “sure if it’s only one cent how bad could it be” the imp waited a little while then said “if you would like to leave then the only thing you need is to be debt free”. jimmy then said “here Gook I have my lucky penny, pay it off with that so we can leave”. Gook gave the imp the penny and said “here now can we leave?” the imp said “you still need to pay off your interest” Gook then said “how much is that?” the imp replied “at 10% compound interest per second for 60 seconds that would be three hundred four dollars and forty eight cents”. Chewbacca then said “I see... are you by any chance interested in lube?” the imp said “ the only thing I’m willing to deal with is money” the imp continued “although, there is one way to get past this debt” Chewbacca asked “what is it?” the imp said “it’s a little game I made to help people get out of debt” the rules go like this “if you win all games then you break even if you lose then I double your interest rates and can force you to work till it’s paid off” he continued “I have a deck of cards; If you guess which card I have then you win, If you are wrong then you lose. It then shifts to me where I guess your card, If I guess correctly then you lose and if I guess incorrectly then you win. This lasts for three games” jimmy and Gook were considering how fair a game it was when Chewbacca said “sounds fun we agree”. The imp said “very well choose 3 cards” Chewbacca grabbed 3 and then left. Gook said “Really Chewbacca, this game is incredibly in the imp’s favor” Chewbacca said “dude don’t worry If worse comes to worse we can just run up the stars” jimmy interjected by saying “the imp has a key that opens a door to the stairs, the only way to get further is to have him open it. Well whatever we got this far by-”. Gook said “ we should probably start thinking about ways to win”, jimmy said “ Gook, if you stand behind the imp then we can use your katana as a mirror to see which cards he has.” Gook said “the imp probably has marked the cards so we should conceal them” Chewbacca perked up and said “my hands are big enough that I could keep them covered at all times” Gook said “well I guess you’ll be the one playing”. The imp beckoned them saying “it is time to play”. On the first round Chewbacca looked at Gook’s sword and saw that the imp had an ace of clubs, a 7 of hearts and a king of spades.The imp said “I will place down a card and you will guess it” Chewbacca saw that he placed down the ace of clubs, though he did not immediately give the answer. Instead he gave his best gypsy impression and said “oh yes the spirits they speak to me” he continued “ Huh! What! I can’t hear you” he then said “The ace of WHAT!? Clubbs? OK” he looked at the imp and said “I have peacefully convened with the spirits and it is the ace of clubs”. the imp was now frightened at Chewbacca, but he still knew he could win when He got to call Chewbacca’s card. He said “it is your turn” Chewbacca laid his first card down on the table making sure to cover it fully with his hand. The imp then said “it is not necessary to cover the card with your hand” Chewbacca replied “the spirits told me that it’s necessary when you’re fighting against a reject midget devil” the imp looked flustered and guessed “is it the ace of spades?”. Chewbacca then smiled at him and flipped over the card to reveal king of hearts. “nope” said chewbacca he continued “your turn imp”. Now the imp was sweating bullets, he simply laid down his card face down and said nothing. Chewbacca saw that he laid down the king of spades, Chewbacca again said “ Spirits I humbly request that you show me this card” he continued “ What Do You Mean I’m Being Too Loud , Hey! get back here”. Chewbacca looked at the imp feigning hopelessness “it seems as though the spirits have left me because I was yelling too much” he continued “I’ll just have to go with my gut on this one I guess... King of Spades?” the imp looked disappointed and said “you are correct”. It was then the imp’s turn to guess, He took his time and eventually guessed “ the nine of hearts?” Chewbacca then said “wrong” revealing the eight of hearts. The imp now sure he going lose said “It is customary to take a recess before the last round” and walked away. Chewbacca went to Gook and said “that sure was easy” Gook replied “I’m not so sure it’s over, he’s probably doing something devious”. jimmy came up to the group and said “i saw the imp looking at the other cards in the deck, I’m pretty sure he can find our card by looking at which one is missing. This is no-” Chewbacca interjected “Holy crap we’re screwed” Gook then said “now wait , let's think for a moment” jimmy then replied “remember when we used to play pokémon , Chewbacca had that Holo-Charizard that he’d always keep with-”. Gook interrupted him by saying “Chewbacca do you still have that card!?” Chewbacca said “Yea I keep it in my fur not sure why that matters” Gook then replied “What if we tried to sell it to the imp?”. jimmy then said “he said he only deals in cash and even if we could it wouldn’t be-” Chewbacca interrupted “ I have an idea!!”. Gook replied “well that’s a first” Chewbacca continued “what if I play the Charizard at the last round?”. Gook said in a harsh tone “That’s obviously not allowed einstein” jimmy interjected “actually he never said the cards had to be from the same deck I mean-” the imp interrupted by saying “the recess is over”. Chewbacca then walked over humming the pokémon theme song. At the beginning of the last round the imp laid down his card and Chewbacca said “7 of hearts” then the imp said “correct”. Now Chewbacca laid down his card , the imp smiled and said “ 4 of hearts”. Chewbacca fiend despair and said “maybe” the imp responded “flip it over!”. Chewbacca whimpered “please don’t”. The imp finally ripped the card from Chewbacca’s hand. His face filled with confusion, despair, and anger as he said “what is this!?” Chewbacca replied “it’s a limited holo-Charizard first print”. The imp then said “this pokéman card was not in deck” Chewbacca replied “so?”. The imp yelled “That’s Cheating, pokéman cards are not allowed” Chewbacca said “you never said anything about the cards having to be from the deck”. The imp now defeated replied “well I guess you’re free to go”. Chewbacca said “one more thing” the imp replied “what?” Chewbacca then said “It’s pronounced pokémon you uncultured swine”. After that Gook , Chewbacca and jimmy went to the fifth floor. When they entered the fifth floor they were greeted by a green man, he turned to Gook and said “what's your name” Gook replied “Gook Skywalker”. the green man then said “what a wonderful name I wish I could have it” Gook then replied “what’s yours?” the green man said “Gook Skywalker”. Gook Skywalker then said to jimmy “ What’s your name” jimmy replied “jimmy Jambo” jimmy Jambo then said to Chewbacca “what be your name” Chewbacca replied “Buttface”. jimmy Jambo then said “my what a wonderful name, more rare than all the others I’ve heard, I shall take it and use it as my own”. Buttface then said “what a wonderful body you have jimmy” and so Buttface morphed into a replica of jimmy. Buttface then said “your body is not all I shall have , I shall have your life” He jumped at jimmy ready to kill but he was cut in half by Gook. Buttface’s body rebult itself and then He said “I want your skills as a warrior and your sword”. A sword then appeared from thin air and He grabbed it. He swung the sword at jimmy, Gook blocked , so Buttface tried to strike Gook from a different angle. During this time Chewbacca grabbed Buttface and pinned him down.Buttface said “I want your beastly strength!” he then yanked his arm away from Chewbacca’s pin and hit him with the heel of his sword, freeing himself from the pin. Gook struck at Buttface , Buttface countered and broke Gook’s sword in half. He then started slowly walking towards jimmy, jimmy said in a frightened voice “ wait! If you kill me now then you’ll never get to hear about my friend's power, It’s-” Buttface said “ what power?” jimmy replied “the power to disintegrate into ashes”. Buttface then said “oh, my” his finger slowly started turning to ashes “what a wonderful power”. By now his arms and legs were turning ever more gray. There was only his head in a pile of ashes while he said “it shall be mine” and then he was gone. Gook picked up the katana next to the pile of ashes (for his sword was destroyed) and they continued to the next floor. Upon entering the next floor they saw a large amount of skeleton butlers shuffling back and forth, fulfilling their multifarious duties. One came to them and asked “follow me visitors, I shall bring you to Mr.Adams”. Gook looked at jimmy then said to the butler “Sure take me Mr.Adams keep”. They walked down beautiful hallways lined with paintings of uncomparable beauty. Gook looked at the butler and said “who made these” the butler replied “Mr adams”. Eventually they made it to the end of the hallway and were greeted by a dining room. The floor was covered by a red velvet carpet with gold lining. The table was made of an ebony colored wood it had ivory heels and the sides of it were studded with precious gemstones. The table chairs were made of a dark ebony wood and they were bonded with a generous amount of red cushioning. The room’s walls were a nice brown color and had various self portraits of Mr.Adams. The further up the portraits were the skinner Mr.Adams seemed to be. Finally in the center of the room there was Mr.Adams he was a very big man -in fact he was so big it is surprising the chair he sat on didn’t break-.he was dressed in a brown and purple checkered silk robe. Mr.Adams said with a smile “what brings you into my humble abode?”,Gook replied “We’ve come to take the stolen food from this tower and give it back to the people of New Dirt City”. Mr.Adams gave a slightly confused look and said “Is that where the food came from?” Gook replied “Yes”. Mr.Adams then said with a saddened face “I had no idea. I will help you with your plight no man should starve”. Gook said “It was taken by your king we know him as Kazooba the hut” Mr.Adams said “Even though the king has treated me well , He has not treated his people” Mr.Adams continued “My abilities greatly exceed the scope of King Kazooba, I will get new dirt city the food by tomorrow even if I have to take down this tower myself!”. He then said “though I hope we can settle this peacefully”. Chewbacca then turned to jimmy and yelled “why is there a talking whale!?” Mr.Adams then looked at Chewbacca his and with a stern face said “you talking about me?” Chewbacca said “yea”. Mr.Adams then looked directly at him and laughed “you must be mistaken, that was my ex wife”. Mr.Adams then said “the day is almost over , let us feast and rest then we will make plans to get the food back to New Dirt City!”. Mr.Adams then clapped his hands and butlers holding food flooded into the room. They had various types of food and many fine wines. The food would not stop coming nor would the alcohol dry up. Everybody was drunk to high hell, when Chewbacca said “ I love all you guys” Gook then responded “ivv you really lub me then yoou would fight me”. So Chewbacca took a half hearted swing at Gook and fell over. He then said “ii’m good”. Mr.Adams then laughed while eating chicken nuggets and jimmy said “Gook is winner” before falling asleep on the floor. Chewbacca was next to slumber, then gook and finally Mr.Adams. When Chewbacca woke up the first thing he said is “God damn My head hurts”,He then noticed the circle of butlers and headed towards it. There in the center of the circle was the dead body of Mr.Adams, a butler said “now that everybody is awake I shall read his eulogy: ‘General Adams was a great man , a great leader and most of all, A great friend’”. jimmy turned to Chewbacca and whispered “turns out he was the leader of the skeleton army . also you could take pointers at that eulogy, because unlike your last one it-” he was interrupted by a butler “It is a miracle he survived for 3 hours because his blood was five percent alcohol” The butler paused holding back his sadness. He continued “and ninety five percent chicken nuggets” another butler said “Kazooba may have brought us into this life but General Adams was the one who made it bearable” he then removed his skull, placed it on the ground and finally smashed it with his foot. One after another the skeletons did the same, until there were no skeletons left. Finally all the skeletons’ souls floated from the tower and into the afterlife. Just like that Chewbacca, Gook and jimmy were ready enter the seventh floor. When the entered the seventh floor, they saw Kazooba the Hut sitting on a throne. Gook said “Kazooba the Hut!” to which he garnered no response. He then sighed and said “Grandmaster King Kazooba Has-a-seven-to-one-kill-to-death-ratio-at-call-of-duty Coolguy the Awesome” Kazooba now looked up, he said “that’s Grandmaster King Kazooba Has-a-seven-to-one-kill-to-death-ratio-at-call-of-duty Coolguy the Awesome SIR to you peasant” Kazooba then said “How did you three idiots get past my minions!” Chewbacca then said “that’s probably because your minions were trash” Kazooba then said “you never fail to make a fool of yourself Chewbacca.” he added “or should I say Chewbaka” Gook responded to Kazooba by saying “that’s an absolutely horrible pun”. jimmy finally piped up “i have a lot of things to say-” he was interrupted by Kazooba “you always have a lot of things to say jimmy”. jimmy Yelled “That’s it! Ok so first of all how is your room so damn dirty if you literally had a whole entire army to-” Kazooba pulled out his 5 cent value kazoo and started playing in hopes to get jimmy to shut up. Upon hearing the Kazoo Chewbacca and Gook were frozen in place and unable to speak, But jimmy was unfazed due to the fact that he could not hear the kazoo over his own yelling. Kazooba, seeing this played even lowder. Now Chewbacca and Gook were writhing in agony on the floor desperately trying to cover their ears, jimmy was still unfazed. Kazooba now played as loud as he could, this caused Chewbacca to empty his bowels meanwhile Gook was foaming at the mouth and having muscle spasms. After about two seconds of this though, the kazoo broke. Then the only thing that could be heard was jimmy who was still talking “which brings me to my main point, Just because you’re really good at one thing doesn't mean you’re better than anybody else and It definitely doesn't give you the right to take away their food. Some people are strong , some people are smart; You are just like these people Kazooba and you shouldn’t get some false sense of pride just because you happen to be able to resurrect the dead with a stupid kazoo. Also just because you got a 7 to 1 kill to death ratio at call of duty ONE TIME doesn't mean that’s your ratio you absolute Goddamn MORON!”. Chewbacca said “God damn that kazoo hurts like a bitch, I hope you’re ready to get your ass kicked” Kazooba then tried to run away but was put in a shoulder lock by Gook. Chewbacca then started indiscriminately pummeling parts of Kazooba’s body. Chewbacca was going to break his neck when suddenly a bird holding a skull crashed straight into Chewbacca knocking him out and crippling the bird. The skull said to Gook “Remember me samurai?”.Gook let go of Kazooba and said “no”. The skull then said “well I sure remember you” he continued “you were the man who killed my friend and then threw me into a swamp about two days ago”. Gook then said “oh yea , what brings you here?” the skull replied “that’s not important, what is important is that I need to stop this mess. Spare Kazooba’s life you should never take a man’s for no reason”. Gook responded “Oh I’m done with Kazooba it was Chewbacca who had the major gripe”. Chewbacca woke up now a little more calm and said to Kazooba “you got something to say?” Kazooba replied “I’m sorry” and then the group of four left the tower. When they got to the gate they saw everybody in the city standing there, Russ came to Chewbacca and said “we have been starving for two days and we are here to overthrow-” Chewbacca cut him off saying “you’re late to the party , already done , food’s on the sixth floor of the tower, Don’t take anything from imps and Don’t mess with the pot on the third floor ” He then opened the gate and everybody flooded in.Chewbacca and Gook walked back to his dirt hut. When they got there Chewbacca said “Hey Gook could you pass the cereal?” Gook replied “I thought you had it”. Chewbacca collapsed to the ground in anguish, there he noticed a box of cereal under his couch. He took it out from under there then said to Gook “want some?” Gook said “sure” and so they ate. Epelouge Kazooba the hut was exiled to Nazareth where he changed his name to Jesus and became the founding member of a cult called Christianity. The Great being Otmar was buried deep underground so that he would never be disturbed again, meanwhile the Imp -being introduced to a new card game- became the world's greatest pokemon card player. The body of Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS was buried and the gravestone read “here lies the flame behemoth Mr.NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS standing at 8 feet tall” -although under that the gravestone was defaced by a crude carving saying “he was born a manlet and he died a manlet”-. Mr.Adams’s body was buried next to Otmar The Gravestone saying “here lies a man who loved chicken nuggets”. The ashes of the green man were -in his spirit- put in somebody else’s urn. jimmy left New Dirt City to inform the world about the fact that Russ was actually just a really hairy kid (and also how Chewbacca defeated Kazooba the hut). Gook built a shrine and tenderly cared for it and occasionally went to Chewbacca’s hut to get stoned. Finally Chewbacca was made mayor due to his acts of heroism and bravery -A job he quit after the first day-. After that he lived in his small dirt hut until New Dirt City faded from history.Nobody really knows what happened to Chewbacca after that, But Some people say Chewbacca is still roaming the forests, He goes by many names : The Yeti , Bigfoot or Sasquatch to name a few. Though you will forever know him as The Space Monkey. The End